POLITICALLY (not)CORRECT PART V

THE HOSTS – Germany + European Union

Germany
“Do you know why Germans build such high-quality products?
So they won’t have to go around being nice while they fix them.”

You know you are German when:

1. You wait for a green light at a pedestrian crossing even when there is no traffic to be seen.
2. You wear socks with sandals.
3. You know the difference between Milka and Ritter Sport.
4. You think nothing of the five Smart cars parked on your street — and one of them is yours.
5. You know that Sunday shopping is something very unusual (and even that only in larger cities), so you plan ahead (or go to the train station if you forgot to plan ahead)
6. almost everyone you know has a bike — and uses it often (even the 70-year-old lady on the fourth floor)
7. You have sorted your garbage into at least 3 garbage cans and you know the difference (or should know the difference) between “Gelber Sack” and “Restmull”
8. You have ever drank: a Maß, Meter or Stiefel of beer.
9. You know what a WG is, and have lived in one.

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Even though people are so different, according to the previous posts, they have something in common – the European Union.

You know you are from Europe when:
1. You pay ridiculous taxes and think it is normal.
2. You know a little about a lot.
3. Your house is older than America (sometimes your car depending if you’re from eastern Europe)
4. You pay a lot for gasoline.
5. You don’t come home at midnight, you go out at midnight.
6. You actually WALK.
7. You don’t have a local church, you have a local cathedral.
8. You speak at least two languages fluently and understand the rest.
9. You make cookies with no pot.
10. You have been outside your country and not just outside your state.
11. You think that traveling from Amsterdam to Luxembourg qualifies for an international travel.
12. You trully believe that your country has once been an empire which dominated the world (even if you come from Andorra).

And the reasons why the different states from above joined the EU:

1. Bulgaria – joined to grab the money.
2. Czech Republic  – Let’s help the UK! We’ve tried to destruct the EU from outside, but it didn’t work. So one needed to join then.
3. Estonia joined because – um, Russia didn’t.
4. Germany Started it to finally get some lebensraum.
5. Poland joined because kinda had to, being in Europe’s centre and all, and to give Russia the finger. They really want to make peace with Germany.
6. Portugal prefered to be at the edge of something instead of the middle of nowhere.
7. Romania needes broader market for its drug exports and children for sale.
8. Slovakia – a good way how to make the Hungarians angry and get some money.)

In Heaven:

The cooks are French,
The policemen are English,
The mechanics are German,
The lovers are Italian,
The bankers are Swiss.

In Hell:

The cooks are English,
The policemen are German,
The mechanics are French,
The lovers are Swiss,
The bankers are Italian.

How the EU works: In Germany, they make the rules, in Britain, they obey the rules, in France, they bend the rules, in Spain, they break the rules and in Italy they have no rules at all.

Special thanks to Google, Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia, facebook and a neighborhood–countries’  mutual affection.

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